If you want to help someone get to safety here are some helpful suggestions:

 

Open a conversation about why you’re worried about them, then explain why: 

• I am really concerned about you because you seem so distracted and anxious lately. 

• I am worried that you don’t keep in touch. Please know I am always here if you need to chat. 

• I am worried about you because you seem really unhappy lately.

 

DON’T 

 

• Don’t be surprised if they seem defensive or reject your support.

• There are many barriers to admitting or seeking assistance

• Don’t push the person into talking if they are uncomfortable, just be consistent, patient and unjudgmental. 

• Ask for support if you need it – this can be hard on you too.

 

DO

 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO IS LISTEN 

 

• Listen to what they have to say. 

• Believe what that tell you. 

• Take the abuse seriously. 

• Help them recognise the abuse and it’s effects on everyone involved. 

• Tell them how brave they are for opening up and that they have choices. 

• Build confidence and value. 

• Address their blame, shame and guilt and remind them what they are responsible for and what they are not. 

• Help them save themselves! 

• Offer practical assistance like transport, referral to organisations/services that can help 

• Respect their right to make their own decisions, EMPOWER not ENSLAVE 

• Keep regular contact – even when it is hard to do that. 

• Keep supporting after they leave and encourage healing.

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After they leave is the most dangerous and difficult time, don't minimize the danger!.